Records

This week, I went and set a record for drawing the most world record attempts in a single sitting. It's the sort of thing the Universal Record Data Base people recognize and it's about time somebody did.

When I was asked to do it, I was initially reluctant. "What do I have to do?" I wondered.

It was explained that I would have to come to the show that the URDB is now doing monthly at Joe's Pub and draw it.

"Let me get this straight," I asked. "In order to set the world record for the Most World Record Attempts Drawn In A Single Sitting, I have to come to a show at Joe's Pub and and draw it?"

"Yes," I was told.

Well, that seemed doable--in the sense that it was something I often do--so I did.

Beyond all the glory--the piles and piles of sweet, sweet glory, god I love the smell of glory--the event allowed me to video the whole process, making this the first portrait drawing I've got any footage of. If you're wondering who all the record holders are and what their big achievements were, here's the list:

* Most Goodfellas Quote Exchanges With A Puppet In 1 Minute - Pat Sauer

* Most Insulting Tweets Directed Toward One Person In One Minute - Streeter Seidell (College Humor)

* Longest "Oh, Man" Response To A Crowd Interruption - Cory Cavin (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)

* Longest Time Hula Hooping While Standing On One Leg - Ella Morton (Rocketboom)

* Longest Time Not Talking About One's Cheating Whore Of An Ex-Wife - Dan Evans / Thomas Middleditch

* Fastest Re-enactment Of The Shining's "I'm Gonna Bash Your Brains In" Scene - Esther Crow (lead singer of The Electric Mess)

* Most Boob Wiggles - Rachel Sklar (Mediate, The Huffington Post)

* Most Post-It Notes With Adjectives Written On Them Affixed To One's Body - Opus Moreschi (The Colbert Report)

* Most TV Shows Named In One Minute Where One Word In The Title Is Replaced With The Word "Horse" - Kumail Nanjiani (Michael and Michael Have Issues, David Letterman)

* Corbin "The Rustler" Day vs. Josh Golding in a "Longest Tape Measure Extension Toss" Battle Royale

And the evening's hosts were the gentlemen in yellow, Dan Rollman and Corey Henderson.

Check it out: