If You Don't Know Where You're Going, Any Road Will Take You There

During the day, I mostly sit in the studio, watching the piece come together, trying to learn the music and the movement as if I'm a dancer. Afterwards--between anxiety attacks--I sleep or find myself absent in conversations with people with whom I hate being absent in conversation.

Susan asked how it was going and I said, "I find myself acting like a drama queen." And she said, "what good is being a star if you can't be a drama queen?" And I told her, "but, I don't like drama queens." It's just that everything in my life at the moment is preparation for something I've never done and won't have done until after I've done it. My hand is twitching, my mind is racing, I am overthinking.

But, at night, I get to go over to the Pub and listen to music and fade into the woodwork, curl up with a clip-light and practice the quick sketch.

Then I go sleep some more.